so much
that was so much storm
so much pain
that I would escape

would I not
would I not seek
to escape my storms
to escape my pains

and where
where then
would I be

if my ahead
had not learned
from what had been my before
what then
where then would I be

what happened happened
what happened indeed happened
before

what happened happened before
what remains is what is yet to be

where can I find ahead
where is escape of that I’ve been
where is the future that holds
the me the one I wish

I dread to look behind
to see so much that wanted not
I dread to look behind
it is ahead I wish to see

and then I pause

behind
it is held in behind

the what I see now
as the what that fitted not
it is held in before
the tomorrows I’d want
and the one’s I would not

where do you find ahead
where do I find the me I would be
from where will my answers come
when will my past leave me to be

mistakes
please give me mistakes

where do I find ahead
what might I find in the looking behind

why can I not let go
of what is clear
can not be held
anymore

why do I grasp on still
to what no longer is
to where I no longer am
to when it can no longer be

when in some moment
outside of thinking
in rage or sadness
I burn that bridge
and lose all going back

when there is no back
what direction remains

sometimes
has the time not come
to burn my bridges

never never
do I find the right
without going through
the all so many wrongs

never never
do I seem simply to know
how to first pick
what I will later pick last

never never
can I oh please avoid
the wretched crooked painful path
that leads only eventually to

it is
it is it seems it must
not just two
but one thousand wrongs
makes finally the right

to look forward
to look forward to
can it be any other
when time flows
but according to its own

to know to look forward
when I cannot tear my eyes
from looking back

in hopes to look
forward
of a different past

time flows
but according to its own
while I can hardly stop
trying to wrench times time to my own

to look forward
to look back
to spin around and round

why can I not
just look

How could that moment
of vast and limitless sublime
not wake you from yourself
from these your self chosen chains

how could you not
learn, change, become

these chains
your chains
that you could so easily lose
that are begging you now
to be lost

why not
walk away

why from your lesser self
can you not just
walk away

to go through
will be
will always be
for some things

to be pained by
and terrified from

to go through
some things

will be
to be not able to
escape these pains

where is to be found
also

where is to be found
also
of this pain

to go through and
to learn by

i am in pain
because of before
because it is not yet

time
the most precious gift

there is no mistake
that can not be what was come from
that will not become next
there is no moment
that is not but blank
that is not both mistake
and moment of entry into the next

they are but moments
painful as they sometimes are

wherein is understanding
wherein is forgiveness
to forgive myself

the moment now
waits its determination later
by the discovery later
be it action or insight
we are what we are trying to be

it is
in the next moment
and the next
and the next

i am in pain
because of before
because of what is not yet
but even just awareness of this
could recogogize this moving towards

what is paid along the way
what is hurt along the way
is truly
worth the cost
nothing
is not built from ashes

it can be made
better
the world
can not it

it can be made
better
this life
can it not

for these
things
of which I see
these things
of which I know
that give me hope
that drive me on

it can be made
better
the world
this life
can not it

for I cannot stop
though might there be
what cannot

it is quiet here
and it is safe
this is the place
I want to be
this is the place
I need to be

in here I can be me
in here
I am safe
and it is here
it is the most me
It is possible to be

but where is this place
where it is quiet here
where is this place
that it is safe

there I will go
there I must be

but where is this place
where it is quiet here
where is this place
that it is safe

this is the place I will go
where is this place
that I must be