The appearance
the reality
the journey in between
where is told the story

Calm and quiet
Agitated and inconsolable
Thoughtful and reflective
Unquestioning and disinterested

Argues at the check out
waits patiently when cut off

All that would be judged
all that would seem known
about another

without the journey in between
what can be know at all

The long and sleepless nights
When all the mistakes appear
and have their say
and deny me sleep

The long remorseful days
when is realized only after
what I wished I’d said
how I wished I’d done

All these I turn against myself
The mind suffers the nights
and drags through the days
Where is to be found comfort
where is to be found rest

Yet…
who beats themselves up who did not just learn a thing
who has conscience and does not hear it speak
who has eyes and does not see all sides
who has courage and finds only satisfaction

It is backwards
The easy rest
What chance lies there to make better
It is in the discomfort that is what is learned
what would be steered toward…
Tomorrow
and the tomorrows to come

It is a good thing success
for by it can be judged
talent, ability, quality
and all that deserved

It is a good thing success
for they were the ones not subject to contingency
not gainful of the deal of the hand
the place in line
the rules of the day
the circumstances now passed
of but two more seconds, or days, or years

It is a good thing success
for needs be the right sides
so can be joined with the ones
and can be made jeers at the others

It is a good thing success
for by it can be judged the
second best
the almost was
the failures

Yet that pesky alternative universe
where the contingencies that fell to A
now fall to B
and now is all the other way round

But the stakes be in this universe
for what contingency wrought

v = H0r
Hubbles Law

In this ever expanding universe
moving further and further apart
creating more and more space
It is, apparently, filled up
with only so much…
stuff

As it is, apparently, a
zero sum game
One over here gets and…
another One over there loses

Such a big universe
getting ever so much bigger
but, apparently, not enough stuff
not enough room on the road
not enough attention
for all the every-ones.

The ever expanding
makes the universe bigger and bigger
And what’s moving further apart
may just be all the Ones
The One against the other One

With all this cancelling out
the sum left may just apparently be…
zero

“having a lowly opinion of oneself; meekness; having a low estimate of one’s importance, worthiness, or merits; marked by the absence of self-assertion or self-exaltation; lowly: the opposite of proud.”
–From the Oxford English Dictionary, a sample of what is found under Humble and Humility

Somewhat surprising?
As if it were believed wrong
as if hard to accept
this humility thing

Wasn’t it supposed a good thing
a cautious estimate not to overstate
a prudent awareness of inherent limitations

Yet these descriptions
such condeming? words
Almost a screaming
no don’t do it
no don’t be weak

If called a bad thing
need it then not be done
Is there an aversion natural
to humility the good

From where comes
these thoughts of what ought or not be

From where comes this sense it matters.
What cares what place in line
or who listens or gets out of the way
Why the importance whether it be gain or yield

For all the assumed rationality
In the moment of conflict
It seems not reason that makes these claims
upon the Universe
It feels more like something feels like
the need for its needs

So Who then demands
Or is it rather What then demands
Reason Passion Biology

From where comes me

A sufficiently evolved  -fill-in-the-blank-
wakes up
brushes his teeth
drives to work
and suffers road rage on the way.

A sufficiently evolved  -fill-in-the-blank-
gets to work
finds a nice coffee brought by a friend
enjoys it
and feels better

A sufficiently evolved  -fill-in-the-blank-
later that evening
sits in twilight
and ponders the universe

He does not know from where comes these feelings
or why they so compel
He wonders what thoughts are his
and which have set themselves upon him

He senses only his humanity

<====>

-fill-in-the-blank- options:
Each blank requires one selection from A and one selection from B
A: human / robot
B: with free will / without free will

What way from here to there
encounters no struggle
What that becomes from what that was
sheds the was at not great pains

What that evolves
does not in bits
steps forward
steps back

And the next step often
can be not even known.
Only stepping
only stepping
only to keep stepping.

From the last stepping
a piece is learned for the next.
Without struggle we see not a thing to be learned
Without suffering is gained not what is suffered through.

I want you to be as harsh as you can. I want to share your burden. I want to help carry your load.

We fear certain parts of self will chase others away – forever. Sometimes we think we want that. But our friends stay. Our friends see a burden and want to share.

Show me the ugliness. Let me walk this life with you. Let me feel what you feel that you might feel it less.

“It was further necessary that he should be able to use these sounds as signs of internal conceptions; and to make them stand as marks for the ideas within his own mind”
John Locke
An Essay concerning Human Understanding
Part 1, Book 3, Chapter 1

Its atoms are invisible to me
(if even atoms exist)
Its metaphysical essence beyond my reach
Even its color and smell may waver with the day

I know it,
think about it,
act as a result of it –
not by it
but by its word.

The thing is
what its word is.
And the meaning I take
on any given day
for that word.

We think in words
We know by words
The thing – Its word
Are they the same

And of the thing said
the thing said of another
the thing said of self
So too of this
It is not the thing which is said,
it is its word

We recognize other in words
We label other by words
as do we self
The thing – Its word
Are they the same

It starts as merely perception,
the entire universe.
It becomes reality by words chosen
consciously? unconsciously?
The thing at the start
does it even remain once become a word

The matter of words
The matter of reality