The higher road than the one
taken by that other one,
that rude one
that selfish one
that hurtful one.
To resist the urge to strike back in kind
or worse.
On the higher road.
But then
There is a sense in which they win.
Isn’t there.
Something gotten away with
Something held unaccountable
The game played unfair.
Of course the thing is not to play.
Though the metaphor is all wrong.
Real life is no game.
Still it remains
this sense of one lost while another won.
In order,
To resist the urge to strike back in kind
Terms redefined
A different choice wherein
“beating”
“winning”
is acting the way the other did not
making a choice made not by other.
Choices not and choices made
The higher road.
Still it remains
this sense of loosing.
What is humanity that it is the other choices
not the higher roads.
It is the other choices that feel better.
Choices not and choices made
feelings desired
versus a world that needs made.
InitialDrafts 
The sense of loosing, knowing you played fair, hurts, but has the strength to move on.
The sense of loosing, over and over again, knowing you keep playing fair, hurts, and jades, and still has strength the move on but now also finds strength in striking back.
Why not strike back? If I have the strength to get beat down and keep going I surely have the strength to keep going after letting go of those feelings. Right? Strike.
Now I’m here.
The sense of winning, believing you played fair, still hurts, and has the strength to move on, but now there is another, who has a sense of loosing.
Is my sense of finally winning worth their sense of finally loosing?
Will they see the futility of their greedy and selfish nature?
Was this even powerful enough to affect them or did this only backfire and hurt me?
I don’t want to win, not that I want to lose but because I dont believe they exist. So how did I let myself feel like I lost? Why did I choose to win? At the expense of another losing, I decided to win, and it doesn’t feel good. But it didn’t feel good to lose, however I knew I had the strength to move on.
Back here, the higher road sounds nice. But still remains confusion for whether choices to be made or choies not.
Dear Initial Drafts,
Thank you for you eloquent post titled “Choices Not and Choices Made.” Your words pose many questions, offer answers, illuminate stark realizations, and yet, continue additional thought. If I may, I’d like to comment to numerous stanzas, particularly your final stanza.
The classic thinkers have grappled with the notion that “the rude one, the selfish one, and the hurtful one” all exist within amongst the “the kind one, the selfless one, and the nurturing one.” Therefore, the consensus being, that a true dichotomy is alive within humanity, in that, choices not and choices made are purely dependent on temperament, situation, and chemical reaction. But I beg the question: Does humanity know the difference between the “good win” and the “bad win” or a “good loss” (which exists) or a “bad loss?” How do we exist in close proximity to our neighbor whom a win for him or her is a loss for me, and vice versa? Surely a strong moral ethic can’t solve the dilemma, so what is the origin of “win” vs. “lose?” If winning and losing are subjective to the individual, then it is necessary to look to the next issue: intrinsic value.
Humanity’s priorities begin with the basic necessities: food, shelter, and water and then progress based on the environment in which one lives and the demographic they are from. Intrinsic value is the choice, merely for the choice itself, which is made due to the internal, positive consequence that exceeds any other choice made in that situation. But where is it taught? I think it is fair to say that it is not innate. Therefore, I am in agreement, “the metaphor is all wrong; real life is no game.” But if a choice made is intrinsically valuable to one and not the other, then the game then becomes “my own life is my own game.” One must scoff at the superficial, fabricated, and indoctrinated “wins” of the Other, or true loss will forever be omnipresent and haunt. Is not the urge to strike back losing to one’s self by playing into a need for self-recognition for the Other’s vices? If so, and the higher road of kindness is in the small things, the minute one must force their kindness until another, it is in vain; it is usury.
Loss is insurmountable to the regret one feels when a “good” win is a choice away that wasn’t made. To conclude, “Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.” William Shakespeare, Measure for Measure
Thanks again, Initial Drafts. Keep writing.
D.W.M.