With And Without

Standard

Why is alone so hard
am I not the same person
as just one minute ago
before the leaving
before the alone

Why this difference in the presence
of others
of conversation
of affirmation
of speech

It is all still me that is here
so what is different

How can the effects of other once gone
pass so quickly
into forgotten memory

It is all still me that is here
so what is different

How do I even know this is alone
Does mind feel it
Does body think it

Do I see empty space and conclude
now I should feel bad now is alone
Or is it a small twinge inside
suddenly become spasms of desperation

It is all still me that is here
so what is different

Maybe I don’t know it
maybe I don’t think it
why then do I feel it

Something changes
what changes
where do I find the me that was before alone

Something changes
what changes
what happens in between
with other and without

3 thoughts on “With And Without

  1. This poem’s making me consider dimensions or nuances of alone that i might have forgotten or i don’t think i’ve really realized until now. If i was not reading this, and if i only heard this poem, i would consider alone possibly as a loan, or that weight of or burden of being in debt and/or feeling guilt (or being guilty?) and having to climb out of it. It’s also prompting me to remember the advantages and disadvantages, freedoms and nonfreedoms of being alone, and reminds me of Batman (especially the Nowlan/Bale-interpretation in the film “Batman Begins”). Like being alone allows Batman to do the near-impossible things he does, move as fast and stealthily and easily as he does. At the same time, Batman’s being alone/the loss of his parents/having to distance himself from most people in order to fight crime and save lives is a constant cost, sacrifice, challenge for him (and maybe probably even his curse). Relatable, and yet unexpectedly unusual poem. (and obviously good)

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