I did not want to learn
the stakes were too high
there were the others who needed help
there were the things I had to fix
I wanted to do

I did not want to learn
what I needed I needed now
what I wanted would not wait
the hurt that hurt was too real
I wanted to do

The reluctant acknowledgment
the seeing the cycles
this is how it goes
I learn when I wanted to do
and do better for it next time
but

Next time
and the next times after
I will want to do
I will want to do for others
I will want to do for me
I will not want to learn