I am sitting at the light
thinking of the higher road
which I do desire so much
where I can forgive
where I can be calm
where I can accept
and understand

It is the person
I want to be
the person
I truly want to be

I am sitting at the light
thinking of the higher road
when it turns green
the light
and in a moment
I start to go

when suddenly
from nowhere
it bashes through the light
that has been red for too long
this meanness of the world
that ought not be this way
I am provoked

and I battle
between the higher road
and the me that is now

in this moment
I strike out
for against this offense
it is just

or maybe not
maybe it would hurt me more
and change the world less

whatever change
might in fact
it be deserved

it is a battle
to the higher road
that I do desire so much
to the person
that I truly want to be
that I am truly trying so hard to be
and sometimes I can
and sometimes I am
and sometimes

tomorrow I will be sitting at the light
thinking of the higher road
which I do desire so much
and I will be provoked

I am going along
being myself
when I begin to doubt
or fear
or start to criticize

and the me
that is most me
becomes lost
in the noise
in the doubt
in the hurt

and the world is stopped
until I regain
until I remember
until I return

between fear and self
I run
and look for me

chipped away at
cut and bruised
beaten and laughed at

all these killings
over all these times
of all I know
of all I feel
of the vision I see

while I do not even see
it happening
or see the killing it does
the chipping away at me

trying to stand
as my feet hover over this maelstrom
this void
wherein is left nothing to stand
upon
for all these cracks
in all I knew

it stops some suddenly
and I hang on some ledge
waiting to fall again
and it continues so

having endured these trials
having passed these storms
what remains is stronger
or maybe not
but it is so different
I am so different
or am I
or should I be
or can I be

it is all so different
in everything
in every way
but the vision I see