The Winds

Standard

It is so hard
to stand up
in the winds

they blow so hard
and so easily
do I stumble down

to stand up
in the winds
I made myself strong

and then
I could stand
and then
I did not fall

but when
does a strong
become a me
I am not

there is a strong
in opposing
that is loss
there is a weakness
in acceptance
that is remaining

how to remain
in the winds

There Is

Standard
(a spoken version is at the link below)

How do I judge myself
how do I find some sense
in all these things that happen
because of all these things I do

for though I do so try
for though this is the best I can
the rains they fall so hard
and the rains they do keep falling

I wonder if there is what I imagine
in an ahead that is not now
for these moments feel so hard
and feel so far not in control

yet of how to judge myself
is it what I do
and fail
or is it what I try
and struggle towards

there is who I am
there is who I was
there is who I am trying to be

[click here for spoken version]

Ahead

Standard
(a spoken version is at the link below)

I am dreaming
of me not yet
and can only hope
that this dream is dream
of what is yet to be

for if it is not
then I am done
and the finish
shall not be reached
before the time has passed

and so fervently I cling
to this desperate hope
that this me I dream
be not dream at all

and so can I only
yet once again
take step
and the next
and the next
clinging tenaciously determined
with conviction
that dream will be made
that indeed there is yet still
ahead

[click here for spoken version]

Hope Is Hard

Standard
(a spoken version is at the link below)

hope is hard
the other is easy
I can know the one
but I will feel the other

I can know hope
and talk it into myself
I can believe hope
and accept the words of another

but hope is hard
because I feel the other
and hope is hard
because I know what I feel

I can know hope
but what I feel
when I feel the other
is so strong
is so loud
and makes it so hard to know

yet what I know
must live with what I feel
hope is hard

[click here for spoken version]

This That Is

Standard
(a spoken version is at the link below)

the world that is real
closes in
and closes down
upon me

the world that I believe
the is that I know
what I believe
surrenders to it
and can survive it not

have I not been told
one thousand times
it is not mine which is the real
and yet…

what I know
will not go away
to this convenient
this easy
other

but it is in this world
where goes on this ceaseless battle
between these two
and in the end
it can be not both

this other
would close in
and close down
upon me

no

between some reality of which I hear it spoken
and the world of which I know
I cannot but believe reality I see
I cannot but make it out
to be this that is

[click here for spoken version]

Turnings

Standard
(a spoken version is at the link below)

it is never enough it seems
for my mind
which seems to be always turning
to the minds of others

Other minds
why is it always other minds
that know so much better
what for my mind is ok
that know if I am ok

Other minds
why is my mind
never as sure of my mind
of my self
until other minds agree

Other minds
to other minds it seems
is my mind always turning
always turning to others
to know what ought be
for me

what might my mind be
if it were enough
that the turning be
just a turning to me

[click here for spoken version]

In Front Of Me

Standard
(a spoken version is at the link below)

this
this is it
the one
what I have been waiting for
who I have been waiting for

but something else
something else happened
something else is here
something else now in front of me

but I cannot see it
what I can see
is what was not

there is was not
there is might be
there is now

I see what I missed
but I miss what is
in front of me to see
to feel

I know so well
how much better
what was not would have been

I know so well
how much better
what might be
would be

I am convinced I do
but I do not

It is in front of me
what is now
It is in front of me
to see
to feel

It is now
and I am here

[click here for spoken version]

In Pieces

Standard
(a spoken version is at the link below)

It is fallen apart
this life
that was too big
and it it is now
in pieces

It was too big
when I tried
to do this all
and I could not
and it was then
in pieces

And I could not
but then take one
only one
of the pieces
and I did
and it became done
and then there was the next

And now I see
it was too big
until it was
in pieces

[click here for spoken version]

By Which I Know

Standard
(a spoken version is at the link below)

why never does it settle down
why never is it easy
always feeling what I could have done better
always thinking what would I need to improve

why cannot I not rest
why can I not be completed
I have worked so hard
I have struggled in such earnest

when do we reach the goal
when have we done enough
when can the rest come easy
when should it at last be settled

the completely accomplished
is reached not by the honest seeker
the finally done and finished enough
is known not to the eyes that still see

there is but the onward journey
and the unrest of honest effort
by which I know I am still learning
by which I know the efforts are true

[click here for spoken version]

The Spaces Between

Standard
(a spoken version is at the link below)

what does this thing appear
this fear
this point not reached
this me that failed

for I know
what does appear
for I know how does it feel
and thus I know of that which is

time then passed

and now was seen
the spaces between
what does appear
and what was behind

and I found that I knew not
this fear
this point
this me

for now I saw
the spaces between
what did appear
what really was

so much hope
to be found between the two
overcoming the one that is seen
to find the one that is

to know the spaces between

[click here for spoken version]