Distant Fear


On the distant horizon
fear fills the sky
for that which unknown

Unavoidably forced on
the horizon approached
nearer comes defining

The worst case
the best case

fear perhaps still
but nearer too
a next step

In the distance fear
nearer a fearful step
but a step
before comes another horizon

Unknown Time


I am in time
I am of time
but I only know time

I am in time
I am of time
but I only feel now

so powerful
what I feel now
to give me joy
to give me pain

so weak
what I know of to come
the joy that might be
the pain that must surely end

in all time and of all time
while time only now
is what I feel

while what I know
needs be what I feel

More Than Is


if there were yet eyes
would there still be sight

if there were yet sound
yet still could what be heard

if there were yet the want
is there still the step

with all that I might see
of all that is within
for all that I might find
would I still strength to look

with all the world could answer
will yet it to be asked
with all that could be known
what want is there to know

with all that could yet be
what will choose more than is

But What I Fear Most


I keep pushing
against this world
that does not change
that will not learn

I keep pushing
against this world
and try to show it
and try to make it

I try to move this world
I try to make it see

if it would only move
if it would only see
if I could only move this world

I try to push
I try to nudge
but it just goes on
and will not see

I try to move this world
but what I fear most
can I move me

Or Do I See


all around is this world
so unknown to me
in which I have found
no place

from it
have I stood apart
thinking I saw
what is seen easily not

while always and constantly hearing
to fall between the lines
to see the same as do the rest
to abandon the clarity that remains to me

it changes not
this world around
nor does it change
the one I see

if the one remains
while it is the other I still see
which is it
and why is it I who ask
am I a fraud
or do I see



we are blinded by sight
and deadened by feel

in the moment we see
in the instant we touch
it is then we think we know
it is then we are misled

we see a life ahead
and the straight line
along which it lies

we feel a life imagined
and are convinced
these feelings will be

then when we live
this life that is
we find lines neither straight
nor feelings as expected

we are blinded by sight
and deadened by feel

while all the while
what is is waiting
to be seen
to be felt

A River Nearby


It is a river that flows
of all that was not
and all that was unseen
and all that might have been

It is a river that rages
and burns in my eyes
and screams in my head
and ever releases me not
from memories of all that will ever be lost

It is a river that grows
ever stronger
that sees ever clearer
all those things that but I could take back

There is a river that grows
and will grow every on
of all that was missed
until I would see
the other river nearby
of all that was learned
and all that was instead

In That Moment


love is soft
beauty is warm

the world is hard

at the start
there is but love
and the beautiful surrounds
then the world is met

in that moment
I am made

love is soft
beauty is warm
and the world is hard

a life goes on
if I will still love
if I will still see beauty
they are met still by this world

in that moment
I am made

still love is soft
and beauty warm
and the world so very hard

in time the struggles lessen not
and against this will I wonder hard
is soft still possible
is there any warmth still

in that moment

The Winds


It is so hard
to stand up
in the winds

they blow so hard
and so easily
do I stumble down

to stand up
in the winds
I made myself strong

and then
I could stand
and then
I did not fall

but when
does a strong
become a me
I am not

there is a strong
in opposing
that is loss
there is a weakness
in acceptance
that is remaining

how to remain
in the winds

There Is

(a spoken version is at the link below)

How do I judge myself
how do I find some sense
in all these things that happen
because of all these things I do

for though I do so try
for though this is the best I can
the rains they fall so hard
and the rains they do keep falling

I wonder if there is what I imagine
in an ahead that is not now
for these moments feel so hard
and feel so far not in control

yet of how to judge myself
is it what I do
and fail
or is it what I try
and struggle towards

there is who I am
there is who I was
there is who I am trying to be

[click here for spoken version]