What might be seen
were I to open my eyes
What might be felt
were I to judge through unfiltered lens

The living is so hard
were it done honestly
The need of need so strong
and lie can serve so much

To see what is as is
and so find hardness
To retreat to self creation
and so find comfortable

This life of choosing
always between the two

Somewhere in mind
in some effort of thought
what chance there is
to find a sense in this world

But the so much noise
impinges hard
I cannot hear myself
enough to think

I am driven
crashed along from noise to noise
from one moment of reaction
to the next

bashed and battered
by noise from without
by noise from within

how to think
in a world too loud

The road holds before me
these things I seek
The things I will learn
to deal with and to grow from
what is ahead and now

I strive and struggle
I claw
and reach them

But in the moments I reach them
In the moments I learn
what was ahead and now
is now suddenly behind
The times in which was need
are times now gone past

So much work
so much effort
so much pain

What was worked for so hard
what was traveled for so long
what was finally learned
were for a time
I can but now look back to see

What is of time
that becomes of times no more
What is of me
that is the traveler through these times

Of all that needed
what can remain ahead
before it comes
already past

So many things I do
so many things not I
who does these things
I do

These things I do
to hide
to feel
to run
Sometimes to be

So many things
I do
and wonder
where
and wonder which

Which are the things
what still remains
where is I

What lies beneath
these things I do
why and which
and who am I

Some reason there must be
for all this suffered
must not there be

Do I suffer in emptiness
does the world for nothing
Must there not be meaning
must in the void not be some why

These moments have been
they shall continue
of suffering
and a life is made
and I wonder for a why

Through the moments remain
the choosing
and will continue
sometimes well
sometimes not

And a life is made

What reason can be given
or in the choosing
what reason can be made

I have tried to run from self
I have tried to deaden self
I have tried
to hide my self

I have tried to know my self
that is the self know by others
that is the self known not to me

I have tried to be the self
that is the self
that is known but alone to me

I have tried to catch my self
to wait for self
to urge my self to be

I have tried to reach for self
and I have been most cruel to self
And I have yearned
to be a friend to self

Yet of all these I wonder
what have I learned of self

This person who just last moment
was who I remembered
now someone else
who in another moment
will return

I am confused by change

This world a way
I’ve come to know
to depend upon
till in that moment
is not

I too
this swing
to this other
before returning

I am confused by change

Which is this world that is around
that seems both the one
as well the other
and both together

This world of one
and then the other
I am confused

Thrown by storm
stepping now
in little more than habit
Then a memory

It pulls
I surrender to it
and go there
but know not why

I am there
in memory
and wonder
what can be drawn back

Time returns
memory remains

I recognize then
but feel now
I am here
in between

Running in fog
through all blocking
the way
I want

Blind to protect
the needs
I must

I strike
and flail
I would
do anything

I look down
and see
who does these things

and long for mind
that would control this body

Its own plan has time
I have mine
To it I never bow
and it never loses this fight

But for a hint to help me through
would my time be better
veered this way or instead another

Others I would help through
but must only stand by while in their time
Time has its plan

The agony of the wait
while I cannot but watch another suffer
while I cannot but suffer through myself

Time Knows but does not tell

I have spent a lifetime like this
in battle with it
While it just waits
and sneers sometimes laughs
for me perhaps maybe sometimes
sheds a tear

Time knows
it can wait

Sometimes my enemy
sometimes my friend