The child being a child is influenced
and so begins my box

Age proceeds and encounters events
and my box builds further

All this done within body made from genes
which limit or enable my box

How can I think
but from within my capabilities to think
How can I conceive
but by what my box allows perception of

I reach I challenge
but to reach to challenge
Must these not be concepts
already within my box to aspire to

Creative is good
but can creative really create
Or can it only find what merely was hidden
already inside my box

A mind can change its mind
can come to new ideas
But how can mind conceive
beyond the limits of its conceptions

As large as a box may be
as able to stretch as a box may be
Whatever universe may truly be outside
can my universe ever be but in

How can I ever be but
thinking inside my box

I remember
before the storm
Before the storm
when the sun would shine

Before the storm
believe was possible
I remember
before

But the winds came
and the rain
Then when all came down
so too my hopes of the world I knew

It is later now
a new world was built
I had no choice

It is this new world
in which I step
one then the next
as I learn to struggle through what really is

What is now
Now is not what came before

What is now
Now is not what is come not yet

What is now
Now is not the thinking of was
and all that may or might or can yet be

What consumes and weeps
my mind its thoughts of was

What gives pause and trembles
my mind its thoughts of might

What is Now

Yesterday is easy
Tomorrow is easy
Now is hard

What is now

The you already there waiting
I can’t it is too far

The you already there waiting
I can’t it is too hard

The you already there waiting
I can’t it will take too long

The you already there waiting
waiting
for yourself

I’m trying to get to me
and sure don’t want to mess this up
Every step along the way
might change what I could be

I’m trying to get to me
mostly have it figured out
But if I zig instead of zag
will it go poof the me I’d thought would be

I’m out there
waiting for me
Do I know that
the me not yet

Am I out there waiting watching
for myself
Saying no, don’t turn there
and change forever that  me not yet

Am I out there waiting watching
for myself
Saying yes, and you can, and we will
and my gut hears

Is it one, these two
is it two
When I get there will I wonder
whether it was me who came before

Can I know it’s there
me though not yet
I can only know
and wait

I grasp at it
the me not yet
but grab only air
I must be waited for

Inside
discomfort
a pain
suffering
inside body

Tension
shaking
anxiety
inside body

They claim control of muscle
of ability to move
But something else takes over
and orders a disconnected self

This other self
or this same self
orders
a step, just a step, just the next step
a breath, just a breath, keep taking the next breath

How can this be
both these parts inside
The parts that feel overwhelmed
the parts that can order to go on

Orders to a disconnected self
orders to a many parted self

On that road
the climb is easier
the people more friendly
some rest can be found

That road looks better
but it’s this road I’m on

On that road
the destination is closer
the struggle more easy
some rest can be found

That road looks better
but it’s this road I’m on

That road looks better
but all roads look something
I see that road now
not had it been travelled
from its beginning to end

Even on that road
still the traveller would be me
Would that road look better
if it became the road I’m on

And if choosing were possible maybe I would
but how to be settled
on this road that’s now

Is a road just a road
is it what is or imagined
Is what good to be found
found by traveller not road

Is a road just a road
Is it just a road
Is the traveller the traveller
whichever is on

That road looks better
but it’s this road I’m on

What a moment looks like
is not what a road was like
from its beginning to end

That road looks better
but it is just a road
that road is whatever
and it’s this road I’m on

This thing as is
this life now
this person here

All these which not enough
all needs which cry out
all the pain which wonders why

The thing that is not
the life that is not now
the person that is not here

All this that is not
a loudness so loud
The loudness of not
covering all sight of what is

The loudness of not
that covers all
What lies behind
what is the is
which simply is here now

Rays of light reflecting off
your face your hands your shirt
Rays of light enter my eyes
and an image forms of another self

In my eyes
the image is true
By force of mind
what do I see

It starts in outline
which rays show true
My needs take over
and mind fills in

The you you are
the you I need
The you you may give
the you I still want

In my eyes
the image is true
By force of mind
what do I see

And my actions then
to which do they speak
The rays of light
or the force of mind

Then both are seen
what rays reflect and mind fills in
The battle ensues
accepting forcing supporting crushing

Will I be for you
what rays reflect
Will I be for me
what needs mind makes

In my eyes
the image is true
By force of mind
what do I Make

===

Rays of light reflecting off
my face my hands my shirt
Rays of light enter your eyes
and an image forms of another self

In your eyes
the image is true
By force of mind
what do you see

It starts in outline
which rays show true
Your needs take over
and mind fills in

The me I am
the me you need
The me I can give
the me you still want

In your eyes
the image is true
By force of mind
what do you see

And your actions then
to which do they speak
The rays of light
or the force of mind

Then both are seen
what rays reflect and mind fills in
The battle ensues
accepting forcing supporting crushing

Will you be for me
what rays reflect
Will you be for you
what needs mind makes

In your eyes
the image is true
By force of mind
what do you Make